Accept or improve? That is the question.

So one of my new favorite people right not is definitely Alain de Botton. Alain de Botton is a well-known, writer, philosopher and the inventor of the popular Youtube channel called “The School of Life” all about philosophy. His talk called “Why you will marry the wrong person” has easily become one of my new favorite talks of all time. It is packed with alternative view points of a vast amount of topics, from addiction to anger to love and much more and I definitely recommend you watch it:

Now among the wide range of topics he touches on there is one that has been on the back of my head and that I have been pondering about. He says that in a relationship (and I would say in any kind relationship, not specifically a romantic one), we must learn to become teachers. You must not believe than when someone is trying to tell you something about yourself, that they are attacking you. In reality, according to Alain, they are trying to make you a better person.

We tend to believe that true love means accepting the whole of us. According to Alain,  it doesn’t. Because we’re humans, we have flaws, and we definitely have areas we can improve on.

Criticism is merely a wrong word that we apply to a much nobler idea which is to try to become a better version of ourselves.

Plato also touched on this issue, saying that we should let our lover change who we are:

Personally, up until now I was against this idea. I believe that we should accept a person for who they are, and even if we believe they have flaws, we should accept them and allow them to change them in their own time (if ever). Because everyone’s ideals are different, and what I consider ideal maybe totally different and incompatible for someone else.

But after watching Alain’s talk, now I’m not sure. I mean, he is right, no one is perfect, that’s for sure. Maybe the answer is a combination of the two, point out things we believe our significant others can improve on, and if they don’t accept it, accept that they don’t accept it.

I personally believe I am a very difficult person when it comes to accepting. I tend to focus on other peoples ‘flaws’, and they often become deal breakers for me. Maybe it’s time I try to improve myself.

I’d love to hear your opinion on the topic. Should we accept others for who they are, should we try to change them? And if they don’t change, should we move on? Please help me out here.


The weather.

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“So how’s the weather?”

“Pretty hot these days right?”

“Woah, it’s freezing, can’t wait for the summer.”

People love to talk about the weather. It’s a nice, simple, go-to conversation-opener, a certain ice-breaker that all people have in common.

I also believe that the way people talk about and handle the weather is a great way of finding out about their personalities.

People constantly complaining about the weather, people who when it’s hot ask for cold, and when it’s cold ask for hot, are people who easily find obstacles in life. They are people who quit easily, with the slightest mishap.

On the other hand, people who embrace the weather are people who truely embrace life and live it to the fullest.

A person who always comes to mind that is a great example of the latter is a great inspiration of mine, Casey Neistat. Now Casey Neistat is a fanatic runner who enjoys running about 10 miles a day.


Most people enjoy running when the weather is ideal, for them Spring and Fall are the best months for running. But Casey? No. Casey enjoys running most in the hot months of summer. For him, August’s heat isn’t a tormenting time he waits patiently to go by. For him, these are the moments he waits for all year, and when they come, he takes advantage of them best.

So, please, let’s stop nagging about the weather and start seeing what we can do to take advantage of it best.


Doing things wrong.

Maybe we do things wrong.

More specifically, maybe we do things for the wrong reasons.

We do things because we want the end result. We work out because we want a nice body, we learn guitar so we can impress our friends with our talents.

But if you don’t enjoy the process of doing those things, of working out, of learning guitar, you’ll never get the results you want, and more importantly, you’ll never be happy by doing them.

It’s just like the famous Greek poet Cavafy said about the poem “The Odyssey” by Homer. To add some context if you aren’t familiar with this poem, the Odyssey is about a Greek king Odysseus and his journey back to his home in Ithaka after the Trojan Battle.

“When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long.”

Κ.P. Cavafy

In conclusion when optimizing for a goal, sometimes the process towards achieving that goal is often more important than the goal itself.

When does confidence turn to narcissism?


Narcissus, as painted by Caravaggio

Lately I have been feeling good about myself. You know? I’ve just been believing in myself, believing in my potential. Especially when it comes to my appearance. I’m like: “Okay, I may not be the most attractive person on earth, but hey, I believe I have a good personality so that goes a long way”.

But that got me thinking how easily misunderstandable that may be. I mean, how many times have we heard someone speak highly about themselves, which results to us thinking how cocky that person is?

And is it? Is it cocky to think good things about yourself? At what point does confidence turn into narcissism?

To answer this question, first, we have to give a definition to narcissism. Narcissism comes from a Greek name Narcissus who was a figure of ancient Greek mythology.

As quoted from Wikipedia:

“In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a hunter from Thespiae in Boeotia who was known for his beauty. He was the son of the river god Cephissus and nymph Liriope. He was proud, in that he disdained those who loved him. Nemesis noticed this behavior and attracted Narcissus to a pool, where he saw his own reflection in the water and fell in love with it, not realizing it was merely an image. Unable to leave the beauty of his reflection, Narcissus lost his will to live. He stared at his reflection until he died. Narcissus is the origin of the term narcissism, a fixation with oneself and one’s physical appearance and/or public perception.”

So, the way I see it, Narcissism is exactly that: finding so much greatness in yourself to the point where you lose your grasp with reality. Just like the Greek philosopher Socrates has said, everything is good in moderation.Which means that it’s good of course to think good things about yourself, but not to the point where you’re so wrapped up about yourself that you lose your humbleness.


Eintein’s theory of relativity

I watched an interesting movie recently, called Collateral Beauty.

In this movie Einstein’s theory of relativity was mentioned. Einsteins theory of relativity pinpoints two main ideas: classical relativity and general relativity.

In general relativity, the main basis of the theory is that there is no such thing as absolute rest or absolute movement. Everything is moving relative to one another. For example, if there are two people inside a car, if you compare the movement of one to the other it is as if they are still. If there is an observer outside the car, he will believe that he is the one that’s still, and the car is moving. But is that the truth? No. The observer is moving as well, because the Earth is moving. Movement is always happening, but it is always relative.

So I was thinking that we can take this small piece of the theory of relativity a step further. We can see the first law as something applicable to our every day lives: everything is relative, not only movement. “Movement” in life is relative. Our lives are relative. Let me explain:

A problem that I have, for example a conflict with my parents, may be devastating for my own life, but will never affect most people. A tsunami, may occur to a large area, and we may never hear about it, our lives continue just as they were. People are dying every day but since they have no evident connection to us we never shed a tear. Same goes for good things. People get married, people have kids. All around us in every house lives are unfolding, things are happening and we will never know. Even with items. An item, like a toy, may mean so much to someone, it may have been a part of his childhood life, but to us it would be worthless.. Our lives are relative. Our problems are relative. Our joys are relative. These things always exist, but we may not see them, because we are wrapped in our own little bubble which we call our lives.

love’s funny.


Loves funny. Isn’t love funny? Loves funny.

You can control anything you want in this life when it comes to yourself. You have almost complete freedom over you. You control how you walk, how you speak, how you decide to spend your time, how you think (sometimes with practice), and even your emotions.

But love? Noooo. Love doesn’t obey to rules. You can’t choose who you love. You can’t decide to like someone. You can’t decide to not like someone. Even when you know it’s right. Even when you know it’s wrong.

I mean, sure, there may be certain traits you admire that become a pattern among the people you love, but that doesn’t mean you can predict love.

And then when you do love someone. You become this mushy gushy silly replica of the person you once were. Suddenly whenever you see this person, your heart beat rises, your hands get sweaty, as if you’ve suddenly faced a grizzly bear. Then talking to the person? A disaster. The sentences you say don’t make sense, the jokes you try to make aren’t funny, what happened to you?

Then you’re beating yourself up for acting like a total idiot in front of the person you love.

Loves funny.


Hello to all people reading my blog.

To those who are “following” me, I am sorry for my absence these past few days, but I have been traveling.

Which brings me to the topic  I would like to discuss, Traveling.


I mean, how great is traveling. Seeing new places. Seeing new things. Realizing how the tiniest habits you took for granted are done in a completely different way in a place that seemingly isn’t too far from your own. Food, language, music, transportation all take a completely different meaning, leaving you with a feeling a distance with the people you come across.

Until you realize that the baseline is exactly the same for everyone on earth. Everyone is trying to survive. Everyone is trying to cooperate, to communicate, to be happy. The only things that change are the tools given to us to do these things.


People sometimes tend to get caught up in their everyday life, worrying about minuscule things. Like the career move you made that you aren’t happy about and now it feels like the end of the world. Or the exam coming up that feels like the end of your life is coming.

Traveling I believe helps free people from the idea that life is only about what we go through every day. Traveling is as if you are suddenly dropped into a completely different environment and everything you went through up until that moment seems like a dream. Traveling helps you realize that everywhere you go there are opportunities waiting for you and people who think like you and will understand you.

And as Saint Augustine said:


why we don’t do more

I’ve been wondering.

Why do we procrastinate? What’s the reason we like to imagine ourselves doing great things yet in the end take the longest time or never get around to doing them at all?


I watched an amazing tedx video recently called “Inside the mind of a master procrastinator”. He claimed that there are two types of procrastinating: One that comes with a deadline and one without a deadline. And though one might imagine that procrastination is worse when it comes to an obligation involving a deadline, for example an essay that is due, it is actually worse when it involves doing things that don’t involve a deadline, like deciding to start hiking lessons.

So why is that?

I believe that although starting a new activity may sound exciting, we are actually afraid of the consequences. As much as we may like imagining ourselves taking risks and being outgoing, in the end every person is afraid of the unknown and so we prefer being left in our comfort zone. So maybe procrastination is just a way of protecting ourselves from getting hurt or disappointed.

I have also noticed a relation between people who procrastinate and people with anxiety. I feel as if people with more anxiety have a tendency to do more, since they are constantly under the pressure of not being in their comfort zone.

So to all those out there that suffer from anxiety -as do I- there you go, there’s a positive side to it after all.