Mental health: The castle of glass

So as we all know Chester Bennington, the lead singer of Linkin Park, past away from suicide.

Petrusich-Chester-Bennington

Now I don’t really think anyone will ever understand what Linkin Park meant to me. Linkin Park gave me strength when no one else can. When I felt left out, when I felt like no one would understand me, Linkin Park was there, Linkin Park did.

Songs like this:

Literally gave me strength when I was feeling knocked down, when I felt like I was feeling mocked in school, when I felt insignificant.

Or their song called Iridescent:

I remember listening to this in the car on repeat. The more I listened to it the more I let go of my problems. This song was my meditation.

The list goes on and on. Most of their songs have a special meaning to me. Most of their songs mark a part of my life. Most of their songs got me one step closer to where I am now, stronger and more confident than ever.

And now a piece of that is gone. Now we’re in pieces.

 


 

But the reason I wanted to make this entry is not about just what Chester meant tome. It’s broader than that. Another person has gone from mental illness. Another person has fallen into the trap that their mind has made them. Ironic, isn’t it? Our own minds devising these traps, working against us in the cruelest of ways.

I read a description about depression that I really liked. I wish I remembered who it was from, but here it goes: “When you’re depressed, you see things in the world around you. Everything moves normally, blissfully, nonchalantly. The sun goes up, days go by, everything seems normal, except there’s a twist. You’re trapped in a glass box. It’s bolted to the ground and no matter how hard you try you just can’t get out.”

Yet no one seems to notice, nothing seems to have changed. The world continues on blissfully without you.

That’s the only way I can imagine what Chester was feeling like. And not only Chester, but millions of people among us. I believe most people have gone through a similar phase at least once in their life. And then they got threw it. And they grew stronger from it. And they learned from it. But who’s to guarantee that it won’t happen again? And how many times can one take until they say enough?

This is why I decided to make this blog entry. Mental health awareness. There are few things worse in this world than feel like you’re trapped in a glass box. And most of the time we ourselves make it worse, why? Because we’re too afraid to communicate about it. Too embarrassed. I believe mental illness is still a huge taboo in our society. People are too ashamed to seek out for help. People are too ashamed to admit they’re imperfect.

But of course, we live in a society where being perfect is all that’s broadcasted. Rich people, beautiful people, successful people, perfect movie stars, perfect rock stars… Oh right. But wait, I mean, why shouldn’t they be happy? They’ve got it all, money, looks, fame, right? They should be ashamed that they’re unhappy, right?

Wrong. You know why? Because our standards are wrong. I believe it’s about time we start re-evaluating our ideas of the perfect person. Beauty, money… It’s all loads of bs. And people like Chester Bennington, Chris Cornell, Kurt Cobain… They’re the proof we need. In fact, I believe people that are happy just because of good looks and money are the ones with true mental illness, a mental illness called narcissism. Being happy and being obnoxious is not the same thing.

For me, real happiness comes from accepting your flaws. Real happiness means accepting that being perfect means being imperfect. Real happiness is knowing that both good and bad times are transitional. Real happiness means not looking away from hard times, not turning your head in the other direction, but standing there, accepting it, accepting that life is not black and white, it’s grey, and you can’t have a rainbow without rain (hashtag promotion of my blog: The rain). 

So please, please, if you’re feeling down, please let that energy out, write a damn blog, talk about it, and if people don’t understand, find new people. If people belittle your problems, saying things like other people have it worse, just remember that mental health is just like physical health. Just because others may have worse problems doesn’t mean that you’re problems aren’t worth looking into. Turn your disadvantage into an advantage, find an outlet for that energy, run, write songs. Trust me, you will turn out 1000 times better than those obnoxious brats you once admired.

Chester and the rest of Linkin Park helped us through hard times, now it’s our turn to continue his legacy and help each other.

 

 

About being petty.

Why do we act so petty? Why do we make mean comments about one another? Why do we enjoy to hate?

Well boys and girls, I think I’ve finally found the answer to the age-old question.

People enjoy degrading others because it’s the simplest way to raise their own self esteem. Reminding ourselves of other peoples flaws seems to give us the reassurance we need that we’re better than others and we have achieved more than them.

But this is of course a very wrong and unnecessary thing to do. All people make mistakes and instead of judging them for them we should be finding reason for their actions and show compassion for we ourselves are not flawless.

So whenever you’re on the verge of falling into the trap of speaking ill of others, remember that this person may one day end up being your friend.

 

Something missing.

Have you ever felt like your life’s doing fine? That you’re pretty much happy, content with your everyday routine, but yet that something isn’t quite right? That something’s missing?

Well, that’s what I’ve been feeling like lately. Everything’s fine, everything’s great, but I’ve just lost my thrill. Maybe it’s time to see new places, maybe I need a change of environment.

Or maybe I need to write more.

Impulsiveness.

Otherwise known as being spontaneous.

It’s funny though, it seems like being spontaneous means doing something out of the ordinary and is considered as something positive while being impulsive means doing something without thinking and is something negative. Honestly, what’s the difference?

Today was definitely the kind of day I would title as impulsive or spontaneous.

I accepted an internship I wasn’t 100% sure of, I made plans with a person I’m not too acquainted with, I ate an unhealthy meal even though I was devoted to cleaning up my diet, I enrolled to the gym abruptly. Definitely an impulsive day.

This kind of behavior is something I tended to do regularly. The only difference was back then after my impulsiveness I would be swooped away from a seemingly endless spiral of self doubt and loathing.

Now, I have mastered the art of acceptance. With every decision I view the positive side. I ponder upon it, discovering what good may come from it. As the ancient Greek stoic philosopher Epictetus once said:

download

So that’s what I did. I let things happen to me and I reacted in a fashionable matter.

I mean, who can blame me? We live in the era of: Y.O.L.O.’s, companies and famous actors promoting motos like “Just do it”, even social media can be considered a mean of platform used to upload thoughts and ideas on impulse. I mean, how much thought goes to a tweet? As the US president could probably assure you, not too much.

But is that really what were aiming for? Actions motivated by emotion rather than thought, spontaneous actions based on emotions, desires and whims?

As nice as it may be to not feel guilt, I don’t think that’s motive enough to do whatever the heck you want without at least giving it some thought.

I mean, of course each situation is different, and some decisions need less thought than others, but I believe the adult thing to do in any given situation is to take a minute and weigh out if what you’re planning on doing is good for your own interest, money-wise, emotionally-wise, and above all health-wise.

Unless you’re a freaking fire fighter or something. Then go ahead and be as impulsive as you like.

impulsiveness

 

 

Conquering fears

fear

Today was a very scary day for me. I had an exam and a presentation to give immediately after.

Speaking in public is one of my biggest fears. Ever since I was little I hated when a teacher would make me read in class. My heart would pound and my hands would shake and my voice would go leaving only a trembling whisper. I would dread it. I would skip classes just so that I could avoid being in that situation. I even approached a teacher with my problem telling him to stop making me read in class. These of course worsened my problems.

So today, after years of doing virtually nothing to improve on this issue, I was called upon to present an assignment along with two other people. I was terrified. The night before I woke up to the strong beating of my heart, I kept imagining myself in a situation where I would lose my voice again and everyone would be staring at me, pitying me.

But then when I got there, listening to the others presentation, I got this weird sensation. Of course my heart was beating fast and my palms were sweaty, but I also realized the opportunity in front of me. I had all these peoples attention. I could show them about something that interested me and prove to them that it was interesting too. I could use hand gestures, become theatrical, prove to them that what I was saying was interesting and give them something they might someday find useful.

So apart from my fear, I also had a feeling of actually liking being there. All other moments I was mediocre. That moment I was valuable, I was someone worth listening to, I was someone brave enough to stand up before others and show them that what I was saying was worthy.

So to my surprise not only did I do relatively well but I also enjoyed it. So I guess they’re right when they say that fear is only a product of the imagination, a reaction to scary scenarios built in our own imagination.

c70f978debf4131e30274be4cdf3bf69

 

A comeback

dsc_0394

Just a nostalgic photo of the place I’m from, Santorini Greece.

Anyway, Hello my fellow bloggers and/ or readers.

I know I have been absent for quite a while and I do apologize for doing so.

The reason I have been is simple: as I mentioned in my previous post I have been going through a phase. A transition phase. A must needed phase.

You see, I deeply believe that any crisis we go through mentally is for our greater good. It means that there’s something we’re doing wrong and that needs to be changed. So this change exactly is what I’ve been doing these past few weeks.

There are two reasons I chose to be absent during this time:

One,I like my blog to be positive, to be about improving, even if you’re going through a rough time and I wasn’t there yet. I wasn’t seeing the positive side. I didn’t have anything to share

And two, ’cause I’m a coward. This is something I do through every time I go through a crisis: I write things down, and since I’m still in a phase trying to figure things out, I write things that I realize in the future are wrong. Like a decision I make but for the wrong reasons. I write down the reasons, and then after time passes and I realize I’ve made a mistake I want nothing to do with my past self. So for example, if I wrote down a decision in the past that I believed was right, afterwards just reading it would cause me stress. And I didn’t want the same to happen with this blog.

But in reality that’s stupid. We’re human beings, we make mistakes, and the best we can do is accept them.

Anyway, that’s all for now, I’ll let you in on more about my crisis and the way I’m dealing with it and Santorini in posts to come. Stay cool x

A Storm

A storm has come.

And I mean that both literally and metaphorically.  It is raining cats and dogs over here. And I mean that not literally but metaphorically. And you know what happens when the rain comes: We ponder and think about our lives.

 

It has been raining for a couple of days now, the same time that I have had emotional turbulence for. Yes, I admit it, I’ve been anxious again. Anxious because a small beast suddenly waked up inside me called a dead line As a matter of fact two dead lines. At the same time. And I was never good under pressure, so with double the pressure it was more than expected that I would have a nervous break.

And are these deadlines really worth disrupting my mental health? Well, no, nothing is. But it’s definitely justified, at least for me. See one of the deadlines is an exam for one of the most difficult lessons of my whole education as a Chemist, and the other is something entirely new to me. And we all know anything new is scary. I have been trying to apply for an internship. I have been asking around for people that may want to accept me, and I screwed up. I left it for the last moment. My deadlines on Tuesday any I have barely been able to get in touch with the people in charge of the jobs I’m interested in. Plus my papers aren’t ready and they may not be ready until then.

But apart from the bureaucracy I’m having another crisis. I crisis I have now baptized as “The new and uncertain things” crisis. See, as the name dictates, I have a fear of anything new and uncertain. New experiences scare me. Thoughts flood my mind, like “What if I don’t like it?” “What if I’m putting too much pressure on myself?”. Thoughts like these and many more fog my head leaving fear and uncertainty in their place. So apart from worrying if I will make it as an intern, I’m also worried if I should even become one.

I’m imagining you guys reading this stuff and thinking that the reasons I’m getting anxious about are pretty damn stupid, and I understand, they do sound quite stupid, but like I’ve said in a previous post, that’s the funny thing about life. How relative our problems tend to be. How threatening something may seem to me when at the same time it may seem minuscule to someone else.

But anyways, to conclude my rant, I will of course just like with any obstacle, treat this like a lesson to be learned in order to create a better, more experienced version of myself. But until then, here’s some advice that I’ve learned so far from the current, pretty fragile version of myself whenever I feel like I’m losing my chill (I’m writing these so that I can remind myself as well):

When in panic mode

  1. Breathing technique: Breath in 5 seconds then….. just kidding I’m not gonna say the same bull**** everyone out there is trying to tell you. Jeez. Like my breathing’s going to make my problems go away.
  2. Now for some real advice. First, if you haven’t recognized it already, recognize the problem. And I say this because if you’re anything like me you may stay on the surface of it rather than digging in for the root. For example when I was in the last year in high school (here in Greece we give exams in order to pass into some kind of university) I suddenly got a fear of knives and stairs. It took me a while to realize the root of these fears were the anxieties I was having due to the exams I would give.
  3. Take things one day at a timeThis always helps me when I’m in a stressful mode, worrying about the future. You don’t even know what’s going to happen tomorrow, so keep your focus short-term.
  4. Think of the worst case scenario. Okay, so what if your worst fear came true? I’m sure the result wouldn’t be merely as bad as what you have made it to be in your mind.

So these are just a few things that help cool me down. Please feel free to add any in you have in mind.

And don’t worry about me, just like any storm that comes it will pass.

-The Rain

 

 

 

Someday Island

This poem by emotionsoflife2016 really hit home. This is the way I feel way too often. The whole “I’m not doing enough”, “Just do it”, “You only live once” thing. Then again I was reading another post from another user who talked about how to stop negative thinking and start believing you’re enough. So which is it? Are our motivational thoughts a good thing or are they a sign of insecurity since we don’t think we are enough? I’m not so sure. Anyway, here’s the beautiful poem:

emotionsoflife2016

We all take a trip to SOMEDAY ISLAND
Thinking is the highland.
Putting everything aside
Thinking than when we come back we will decide.

I know this cause I took the trip like many others did
I believe I did it since I was a kid
Coming back and forth to that beautiful island.
It is so pleasant, full of apathy and ignorance that’s why everyone crave it like diamonds
There are lions that roar in silence.
Such a beautifully disgusting place.

I am lucky cause I escape from the jaws of that island
And now I am bringing to you my testimony of those lower horizons.
If you are there, get out now while you have the chance
And if not, be aware of that evil island, don’t fall into her trance.

Copyright © 2017 Manuel Osornio-emotionsoflife2016

En Español:

Todos tomamos un viaje a una isla DÍA
El pensamiento…

View original post 133 more words

1 day till Christmas – Keep Calm!

Hello fellow bloggers.

One day until Christmas as of today, and I hope you’re all having a splendid time.

Today I would like to discuss a topic completely irrelevant to the spirit of the days: Anger.

download

I know, I know what you’re thinking: What the hell dude. It’s Christmas. What are you, the grinch?

download-1

Well, we’re humans, and humans lose their temper sometimes. In fact, many people hate the fact that it is Christmas.  In fact, the fact that I’ve been worshiping Christmas these past few days in my blogs may have gotten on the nerves of a few of you.

Anyway, so about anger. My question is this: When, if ever, is anger justified? Is there ever a time when you’re right to be angry and you right to speak up about it?

To be honest, I don’t think so. I believe anger, like all emotions, should be controlled before they take you over. Acting when you’re emotional and with the lack of logic is always a mistake.

But on the other hand, don’t get me wrong. I do believe in speaking up when you feel you’ve been treated unfairly. People, whether they  intended to or not, do treat others unfairly (unbelievable, right?). The point is it’s up to you to defend your morals.

But even then, acting on anger is a mistake.

quotes-and-sayings-about-anger

So what do you think? Is anger ever justified? Should we ever let it take us over, or should we reason with it? Should we discuss it and defend what we believe, or should we let it pass? Please let me know.