The voice

Snake Charmer

‘The snake charmer’ by Henri Rousseau

There is a voice inside me

That wants to scream

That wants to yell out:

‘Help!’

But I silence that voice

I keep that voice locked away in the dark

I hide it from others

I keep myself busy to forget that it’s there

But it’s there.

It’s there.

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A letter to the future

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Dear future,

Why you gotta be so scary?

Your like a dark tunnel

no one knows where the exit is.

But maybe it’s better that you stay unknown.

You can’t be afraid of something if you don’t know it’s going to happen.

You can’t be nervous, you can’t be sad.

 

Dear future,

Why you gott be so unpredictable?

Everyone wants you, yet most of us fear you

A synonym of mystery, no one knows you

But maybe it’s better that you stay unknown.

We try to distort you,

mould you into a shape we please

But no one truly owns you,

you’re free.

An update (which turnes into a travel blog)

First of all, happy new year to you all. Time has been slipping by so quickly lately that I can barely grasp the fact that Christmas holidays are over, and even less that a new year has entered.

The reason I have lost track of time is because lately I have been constantly on the go. I haven’t had the opportunity to just sit back and recollect what’s been going on. Which is perfectly okay if you ask me. Sometimes life moves faster than usual, things happen and you don’t have the time to absorb them. But I am also glad I finally have the time to sit down and reminisce on what’s been going on.

So my life has gone through quite a change these last weeks. Last month I got my degree in Chemistry, and it was a fun and beautiful gradguation. The ‘student’ chapter of my life is in the past, at least for now,  and I’m excited to do new things, and more importantly to start applying the knowledge I have abtained these past few years.

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The day after I got my degree I set off to Italy for a traineeship. Italy will be my new home for three months.

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Now Italy is beautiful, but since this is the first time moving to another country since I was eleven, it has been a bit tough on me. As are all new things. But challenges are only there for us to evolve.

A couple of days after arriving to Italy, the Christmas holidays began. So I jumped on a train and headed across Europe with a couple of friends. We started from Milan, and overall we visited 7 cities (5 countries total) in 10 days.

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First stop: Bern, Switzerland.

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Bern is a small little city, but that doesn’t steal from it’s magnificence. Walking around the streets is as if you’re walking in a fairytale.

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The only downside to Bern (and Switzerland in general) is that it is very expensive, which resulted in us eating canned food and cheap raman at the hostel.

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Next stop: Stuttgart, Germany. I have almost no photos from the city of Stuttgart since it was a pretty appalling city. It was full of construction sites, and there was nothing special to see. The only good thing was an arabic restaurant exactly below our hotel.

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Because of our disappoinment at Stuttgard, the next day, on Christmas, we left urgently for a nearby city in France called Strasbourg. While in Strasbourg, we visited called an area called La Petite France, which is the historic part of the city of Strasbourg.

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La petite france was also absolutely beautiful. Rivers and bridges extend like arteries between the 16th century houses. To make things more fairytale-like, swans live there.

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Having not forgotten that it was Christmas, we ate our Christmas lunch in a restaurant just beside one of the rivers.

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Also notable in Strasbourg were the Christmas markets, and a gothic cathedral called ‘Cathedral of our lady’.

 

After leaving Strasbourg we visited Cologne, Germany. At Cologne you can find the cologne cathedral, a monumental gothic cathedral towering over the city. At a height of 130 meters, we were able to climb to the top. This of course meant we had to climb what seemed like an eternity of stairs in a neverending staircase.

 

Next stop: Amsterdam, Netherlands. Now this is a city I could easily move to. Although it is a large city full of lots of people, the whole of it was beautiful and unique. I was surprised because, unlike other cities where there’s a tiny city center and then the suburbs seem nothing like it, Amsterdam was unique in it’s whole. It’s filled with endless small rivers and even more endless bridges. Bikers will love this city, since it’s very easy to move around by bike in Amsterdam and most people do exactly that.

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Amsterdam is also the city of many other peculiar things. For example, Mariguana is legal in Amsterdam. You can find it easily in one of the so called ‘Coffee shops’ (careful: you won’t find coffee there, and if you do, it will probably have mariguana in it)Prostitution is also legal in Amesterdam. There is a whole area called ‘the red light disctrict’ dedicated to just that. In that area, we visited a very interesting museum about prostitution called ‘Red Light Secrets’.

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All in all Amsterdam was an interesting, very beautiful city full of people and vitality. I enjoyed how most of the people their knew english and were friendly.

After Amsterdam came Brussels, Belgium.

Brussels I would say was the best christmas destinations of all the cities I visited. Check out this light-show they have in the Grand-Place square and you’ll know what I mean. It’s definately something I will never forget.

 

And finally, our final stop in which we spent New Years Eve was of course, Paris, France!

And thus Paris concluded my travels around Europe. 2018 has come and it has already been one of the weirdest and most unique years of my lifetime. I believe the best way to end this already-too-long update is with a quote:

” The seeker embarks on a journey to find what he wants

and discovers, along the way, what he needs.”

-Wally Lamb

 

Sadness is a funny feeling.

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Old man in sorrow (At eternity’s gate) by Vincent Van Gogh

Sadness is a funny feeling.

Sometimes you don’t even know where it comes from.

You look for the cause and you end up blaming things that aren’t at fault.

You’re stuck in a storm you can’t seem to get out of.

You’re in a spiral of thoughts which repeat themselves over and over again.

And yet these thoughts won’t leave you. And you’re in a dead end.

It’s as if you’re seeing through a film that’s distorting everything,

things you loved now lose their meaning.

Sadness is a funny feeling.

Capisco se non vuoi parlare con me più.

Capisco se non vuoi parlare con me più.

Quel’ ho capito, e hai ragione. E’ difficile e fastidioso.

Non sei insegnente di parlare con qualcuna che non so la lingua bene.

Ma e’ per questo, perche’ non conosco la lingua bene, che non posso mostrare me stesso veramente.

Perche’ il mio personaggio smarrire fra le parole.

Ma va bene, capisco se non vuoi parlare con me più.

Distractions.

People are stupid beings. If they are not reminded constantly of their goals in life, they become carried away by smaller distractions that take place.

Social media is a prime example of this. People are so busy uploading photos and choosing the right filters just to get their small dose of shallow pleasure. But what is there really at stake? What’s there to offer? Nothing. Only the dilusion that socety accepts you. But not even that is true. Because in reality, the only thing that becomes socially accepted is the fake image you portray.

For how much longer

For how much longer

will this bubble you’ve been living in

keep growing & growing

until it bursts into reality?

 

For how much longer

will this bomb keep ticking

until all your dreams & hopes

explode into your face?

 

For how much longer

will feelings dictate the mind

claiming right over reason

and leaving no room for discussion?

 

For it is feelings

that fuel the imagination

the spark that sets it into ignition

that burns away all traces of logic.

 

Until you lose the earth beneath your feet

and reality becomes distorted

and all your left is with hope.

But for how much longer?

 

Sometimes I wish I had no feelings.

Sometimes I wish I had no feelings

I’d feel no hurt, no pain,

No betrayal, no shame.

Sometimes I wish I had no feelings.

 

And if I had no feelings,

I’d make the right decisions,

cause logic would be my compass,

if I had no feelings.

 

I’d stop pushing away those who care,

and start pushing away those who don’t

I’d stop keeping close those who I shouldn’t

and start keeping close those who I should.

 

I’d stop making the wrong decisions,

if I had no feelings.

Happiness. Hope. Ambition.

Now, I know I haven’t been posting much, but that’s because I’m kind of at a loss of words. I want to express some things I’ve been going through, but I don’t really know how. I’ve been writing something for a while that I wasn’t pleased of. I want to give a try with poetry, but I don’t really know where to start with that either. So I’m gathering knowledge. Gathering information, watching philosophy videos, reading books, listening to music, in my try to pick out the right words. Upon doing so, I stumbled upon this great post, which I believe was worth a share and definitely helped in getting me in the right direction. I hope I get there eventually.

Cristian Mihai

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When did we become a therapy society? When did it become easier to tell everyone about our troubles, but not our successes? Do you ever think about that?

But what is happiness? How can we attain it?

Well… the idea is that happiness cannot be pursued. It’s not something you receive or stumble upon. It’s not something to be found while actively searching for it.

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Accept or improve? That is the question.

So one of my new favorite people right not is definitely Alain de Botton. Alain de Botton is a well-known, writer, philosopher and the inventor of the popular Youtube channel called “The School of Life” all about philosophy. His talk called “Why you will marry the wrong person” has easily become one of my new favorite talks of all time. It is packed with alternative view points of a vast amount of topics, from addiction to anger to love and much more and I definitely recommend you watch it:

Now among the wide range of topics he touches on there is one that has been on the back of my head and that I have been pondering about. He says that in a relationship (and I would say in any kind relationship, not specifically a romantic one), we must learn to become teachers. You must not believe than when someone is trying to tell you something about yourself, that they are attacking you. In reality, according to Alain, they are trying to make you a better person.

We tend to believe that true love means accepting the whole of us. According to Alain,  it doesn’t. Because we’re humans, we have flaws, and we definitely have areas we can improve on.

Criticism is merely a wrong word that we apply to a much nobler idea which is to try to become a better version of ourselves.

Plato also touched on this issue, saying that we should let our lover change who we are:

Personally, up until now I was against this idea. I believe that we should accept a person for who they are, and even if we believe they have flaws, we should accept them and allow them to change them in their own time (if ever). Because everyone’s ideals are different, and what I consider ideal maybe totally different and incompatible for someone else.

But after watching Alain’s talk, now I’m not sure. I mean, he is right, no one is perfect, that’s for sure. Maybe the answer is a combination of the two, point out things we believe our significant others can improve on, and if they don’t accept it, accept that they don’t accept it.

I personally believe I am a very difficult person when it comes to accepting. I tend to focus on other peoples ‘flaws’, and they often become deal breakers for me. Maybe it’s time I try to improve myself.

I’d love to hear your opinion on the topic. Should we accept others for who they are, should we try to change them? And if they don’t change, should we move on? Please help me out here.