Conquering fears.

fear

Today was a very scary day for me. I had an exam and a presentation to give immediately after.

Speaking in public is one of my biggest fears. Ever since I was little I hated when a teacher would make me read in class. My heart would pound and my hands would shake and my voice would go, leaving only a trembling whisper. I would dread it. I would skip classes just so that I could avoid being in that situation. I even approached a teacher with my problem telling him to stop making me read in class. These of course worsened my problems.

So today, after years of doing virtually nothing to improve on this issue, I was called upon to present an assignment along with two other people. I was terrified. The night before I woke up to the strong beating of my heart, I kept imagining myself in a situation where I would lose my voice again and everyone would be staring at me, pitying me.

But then when I got there, listening to the others presentation, I got this weird sensation. Of course my heart was beating fast and my palms were sweaty, but I also realized the opportunity in front of me. I had all these peoples attention. I could show them about something that interested me and prove to them that it was interesting too. I could use hand gestures, become theatrical, prove to them that what I was saying was interesting and give them something they might someday find useful.

So apart from my fear, I also had a feeling of actually liking being there. All other moments I was mediocre. That moment I was valuable, I was someone worth listening to, I was someone brave enough to stand up before others and show them that what I was saying was worthy.

So to my surprise not only did I do relatively well but I also enjoyed it. So I guess they’re right when they say that fear is only a product of the imagination, a reaction to scary scenarios built in our own imagination.

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