short stories

Why ‘The rain’.

my the rain icon (2)

I was driving one day with a friend. We were going our usual drive around the city, to nowhere in specific. This is something I do frequently, either with friends or by myself. I just enjoy the freedom of driving, the feeling that at any moment, if I decided, I could just take a different exit, and get the hell out of here, get away from it all, if I wanted to.

Anyway, we were at a familiar intersection, driving towards a familiar coast-side road which is a ‘go-to’ destination whenever I’m on these little excursions. From it, you can see the entirety of the coast, as well as the lit-up bridge connecting the mainland of Greece with Peloponesse. Of course, the bridge isn’t always lit up, you have to be lucky enough to come across it when it does. The lights are turned off most days of the week for economy reasons, what with Greece being poor and all. Of course, this itself has become a bit like a game, and you feel a bit victorious when you’re able to find it lit up.

As I was driving through the intersection, I saw a car coming right towards us, from the other, intersecting road. He didn’t seem to be breaking, so my first reaction was to turn to my friend and say ‘What the hell is this guy doing? Crossing a red light like that.’ But then it hit me. Then I realized… That road had 2 stop lights. One for the lane turning towards the right, and one for the cars going straight. I had seen the green light for the cars going right, and had mistakenly thought that was the case for me, that I had a green light, when in reality, I had a red, I crossed a red light. I crossed a red light. I crossed a red light.

We had just gotten out of the intersection, and immediately, I stopped the car on the side of the road. My hands were shaking, I felt weak, sick. My friend, on the contrary, was much more at ease. ‘Come on!’ she said. ‘These things happen. We’re fine, aren’t we? Nothing happened, did it? It’s not that big of a deal. Come on, let’s continue our lives.’

Let’s continue our lives.

So we did, we continued our lives. I started the car again, and continued our journey. We even stopped at a coffee shop, had some hot chocolate, discussed all sorts of other things, and then parted, without much reference to it. But my brain was stuck in that moment. All I could think of is, what had I done? My mistake could have cost us our lives. And the worst part is: I didn’t even consider it a mistake. I mean, of course you make a mistake by being negligent, by not noticing the red light, by being distracted, or confused, or whatever, in that moment. But was that moment of distraction really worth having my life taken away from me? Is that the punishment that should correspond to such a mistake? It just didn’t click right in my head. I just couldn’t absorb it. I thought about what anyone would think of in a moment like this: the second law of physics. How every action should have an equal, but opposite reaction. I thought how this didn’t fit into that law. It was against the laws of physics. And if the laws of physics don’t apply, you know what happens. The balance of the universe goes off. Way out of place. Suddenly, the balance of the universe depended on this moment. And it was at risk, at great risk.

In the midst of my worries about the balance of the universe, on my drive home, I noticed a song playing on the radio. It was Fragile, by Sting. The lyric ‘on and on the rain will say how fragile we are’ echoed inside me. I walked up the stairs to my home and I was determined that that moment couldn’t be just another moment I would let pass in my life and ‘try to forget’, because ‘it wasn’t important’. I was determined that something had to change after it. I had to bring balance back to the universe again. I had to fix the laws of physics. I had to make the necessary reaction to my action. So, almost mechanically, and without much thought, I  searched for a blogging site, found WordPress, and began my blog,  naming it, of course, ‘The Rain’. The actions literally just flowed out of me, as if something had overcome me. I had never even imagined writing a blog before. All I did before this was write in my little diary, every once in a while.

Since them, I’ve been writing almost consistently (I said almost!) for two years. I’ve met tons of influential people, I’ve fell in love with so many posts, learned so many new things, and quite frankly, have improved as a person. And the irony is, I’m not even that big of a Sting fan, but I guess that’s part of the message as well, sometimes, some of the things that make the greatest impact on you are things that you never even expected would.

The balance of the universe is back.

my the rain icon (2)

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poetry

Dwell.

jeff.sevener.restraint
Restraint‘ by Jeff Sevener

 

It’s hard,

being in my head,

sometimes.

It’s a constant dwell.

A constant dwell.

 

It’s like

having your worst enemy

share a room with you

trying to knock you down,

over and over,

everyday.

 

It’s like

having a thief

come into to your house,

in hope of stealing

everything

you hold valuable.

 

It’s like

having bees

buzzing all around you

threatening to sting

at any moment,

if bothered.

 

So it’s hard,

being in my head

sometimes.

It’s a constant dwell.

A constant dwell.

 

poetry

An introduction.

11703464_10206413488408395_8293410796124405609_o

Let me introduce myself.

I’m Eva.

I’m fierce. I’m decisive. I’m like a robot. I make programs, and stick to them. I’m determined. I set goals for myself. I make the right decisions. I know which way to go. I’m a problem-solver. I have a purpose in life. I want my existence to be remembered. I want to affect people. I see a mountain, and I want to reach the peak. I’m calm. I’m strong. I look people in the eye. I stand with my back straight, hands crossed in front. I glower.

I’m also Evana.

I’m uncontrollable. I’m all over the place.  I don’t take orders well. I go wherever I want to go, do whatever I want to do. I can be the funnest person to be around, or the worst person to be around. I paint the world the way I want. I come and go, like a breeze. I swear. I become passionate when I argue. I protest. I whine. My head’s in the clouds. I live in fantasy land. I like fairytales, happy ends. And when I don’t get what I want, I’m like a child. I can get needy. I demand.

I’m also Evangelia.

I’m weird. I’m shy. I was bullied when I was a kid. I didn’t choose to be Evangelia, people chose it for me.  I’m the person who sits alone at parties. I’m pretty reserved, pretty quiet. I look down when people look at me. I don’t enjoy the spotlight. Unless I want to warn you about something. Then, I use a bullhorn to shout. Then, I make my presence pretty strong. I yell, until my face gets red, until my eyes are watery. I grasp my face. I widen my eyes. I shake.

 

….And who are you?

 

photography

Birthday special.

Hey guys,

So it’s my birthday ❤️ and I would first want to thank Jay, for the amazing photos and poem he prepared for me. Thanks Jay ❤️

Now for my birthday I wanted to do somethings special…Or at least something I hadn’t done in a while. So I decided I would share some photography from the time I spent in Italy. Hope you like it.

 

 

 

 


 

❤️

art, poetry

Sometimes words aren’t strong enough.

picasso woman in green hat
Woman in green hat by Pablo Picasso.

‘How was your time in Florence?’

‘Great!’


 

‘Did you hear? A man got shot near our house.’

‘That’s terrible!’

 


 

‘My friend’s uncle has cancer. It’s spreading all over his body. We don’t know how much more time he has.’

‘That’s so sad.’

 


 

… Sometimes words aren’t strong enough.

poetry, Uncategorized

Burden.

I’ve always been ashamed of my emotions.

I was actually taught to be…

 

I remember one time,

when I was in elementary school,

and I first told my dad

that I was depressed.

I was so scared,

I had no idea what was going on with me.

I had found a name for my ‘symptoms’:

Insomnia, sadness, rapid heart-beat,

through the internet.

I had no idea why I felt

the way I felt,

I was so scared.

So I went to my dad for help

and he said…

 

‘There are kids in Africa dying from hunger

and you’re sad over nothing.’

 

And after that,

he opened a bottle of beer

and he sighed

because I had been such a burden to him.

 

And he and my mom laughed

about this ‘problem’ that had occured upon them

Their little girl…

claiming to have depression.

Who had heard of such a silly thing?

 

.

 

I’m sorry dad

for being such a burden

but it wasn’t my fault.

It. Wasn’t. My. Fault.

I couldn’t help it…

I couldn’t stop the feelings that were running through me…

I couldn’t stop them if I wanted to.

I couldn’t help the sleepless nights…

Couldn’t help fearing the dark

for reasons I couldn’t understand.

 

I didn’t want the feelings that I had.

So sorry dad, for being such a burden.

 

poetry

Here.

bill.curtsinger
Artwork by Bill Curtsinger

 

Here, I feel surpressed.

Here, I feel I have to pretend.

Here, I feel I don’t belong.

Here, I feel like like I am underwater,

trying to find the surface,

but can’t.

 

I can’t quite breathe.

I think I’m drowning.

 

Here, I feel a constant pressure in my head.

That is what I feel

now that I am here.

 

 

 

I have to get out of here.

 

 

 

 

Uncategorized

TMI (Too much information) tag

I’d like to thank a person I now consider a friend, Jay, for tagging me on his recent TMI post 🙂 If you don’t already know about Jay’s blog, please check it out, he offers some of the most genuine poetry out there. His words truly come from the heart.

This part gave me the opportunity not only to learn new things about Jay, but throught answering the questions, I got to do some re-evaluation on my own self. I believe I have answered as genuinely as I could, so I hope you enjoy 😀

What are you currently wearing?

A shirt I got from the University of Florence where I was a trainee at, and sweat pants. Keeping it simple folks.

Have you ever been in love?

I think, but then again, if you’re not sure, then maybe you haven’t 😛 But whose to define love? Love comes in many shapes and forms.

Have you ever had a terrible breakup?

Oh yeah.

How old are you?

Turning 23 this May 😀

How tall are you?

1.67 meters, which I think is like 5 foot 5 if you’re counting in feet.

How much do you weigh?

61 kgs. I’ve always been like 55 but ever since I started working out I’ve been constantly gaining weight. Let’s hope it’s just because I’m gaining muscle 😂

Do you have any piercings?

I have one on my upper ear, nothing too extreme, don’t know how to describe it really. I guess I’ll use a photo:

piercing
This isn’t my ear, by the way.

What’s your favourite drink?

I’m going to have to say tea of any kind 😀 Tea just always has a way of relaxing you.

What’s you favourite song?

My favorite the past year or so has been ‘Speeding Cars’ by Walking on Cars, but they just released a new song, and I think it’s about to steal the No.1 position:

What’s your zodiac sign?

Taurus. Have no idea what that means about me.

Disclaimer: I think I heard that the zodiac signs changed a couple of years ago so it may have changed.

How long does it take you to shower?

Not too long. Now baths, those are a different topic.

What’s your favourite show?

I am going to have to say House MD, because although I love shows like How I met your mother and Friends, I think House MD is the one that I can say has affected me most in life. There are still times where I think of things said and done in the series.

What’s your favourite band?

Going to have to say Mumford and Sons.

Something you really miss?

Nothing in particular. I am too eager to experience new things in this phase in life to miss anything.

Sidenote: Now that I think about it again, maybe chilling on a couch in Santorini, Greece.

Where do you go when you’re sad?

Easy. Up on the hills near my house. My house is located on a hilly/mountainy area and whenever I am sad or need to think I just begin taking walks up there. I have literally declared that if anything bad was to happen to a member of my family, then that’s where you would find me, up on the peak of one of those mountains. It’s not uncommon that when I go I encounter chicken, goats, pigs, horses and other animals. Also not uncommon is that I encounter groups of stray dogs barking at me and chasing after me.

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

About an hour and a half. I like enjoying my mornings, taking my time and not hurrying. I enjoy getting up, making tea, listening to some music, checking out WP posts, in general taking my time.

Have you ever been in a physical fight?

No.

What turns you on?

Strength. Mental and physical strength. A person who is determined, who is ambitious and has goals in life is important for me. People who think outside the box. Calm, recollected people.

What turns you off?

People who are undetermined are a major turn-off for me. People who let others make decisions for themselves, who are one with the crowd, who go with the flow, who let others determine their life.

Qualities you look for in a partner?

Like I said, mental and prefferably physical strength, a person who will motivate me but who will also be interested in what I have to offer. A good listener.

What’s your favourite colour?

Yellow.

Loud music or soft?

Loud. That’s when the emotions are freest.

Favourite quote?

“Keep the earth below my feet.” (It’s actually a lyric from a song, does that count?? :P)

Favourite actor?

I’m not huge on movies, but I guess I would say the classics, like Denzel Washington, Robert de Niro and Tom Hanks bring out the best emotions for me.

Do you have any fears?

Oooooh sometimes I think fears are all I have 😂 Lately I’ve been getting better at handling them though.

What’s the last thing that made you cry?

Leaving Italy (I had been living there since December of last year). I cried when I said goodbye to my friends there. I made some true friends.

Last time you said you loved someone?

I think last time I said it was to my sister or my cousin, both of whom I adore ❤

Last book you read?

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides. A truly magnificent book. This book describes 3 generations of a family, combining 3 completely different stories all in one book. Plus, it speaks of true historical events that happened in Smyrna, Greece, some of which my own great-grandparents were part of.

The book you’re currently reading?

‘The Zahir’ by Paulo Coelho.

Last show you watched?

I don’t remember really.. I watched a ton of clips of FRIENDS on Youtube a couple months back, if that counts.

Last place you were?

Athens, Greece.

Last sport you played?

I like doing sports outside, running in races, going hiking, and I also go to a gym.

Who’s the last person you talked to?

My father.

The last song you sang?

I think I was singing ‘What I’ve Done’ by Linkin Park out loud in the car yesterday while it was playing on the radio 😂

Favourite chat up line?

How you doin? 😛

Do you have a crush?

It doesn’t matter.

The relationship between you and the person you last texted?

I person I met in Italy with whom I am practising my italian 😂

Favourite food?

Anything with meat in it.

Place you want to visit?

Berlin 😀 Lately I’ve been slightly obsessed with Germany. And Amsterdam.

What’s the last time you kissed someone?

A couple of weeks ago.

Last time you were insulted?

I haven’t been insulted so to say lately but I have been deceived and treated unfairly. But, you know what they say, the wheel will turn, eventually 🙂

Favourite sweet?

Not crazy about sweets. I would say anything simple with cream and not too much chocolate.

What instruments do you play?

Guitar, used to play the clarinet and a little bit of piano.

Favourite piece of jewellery?

Not a huge fan of jewllery either. I have a bracelet I just got, me, my cousin and my sister have the same ❤ I know what you’re thinking, it’s a friendship bracelet and it’s stupid, that’s what I thought too. But I don’t know, I kind of like it 🙂

Last time you hung out with anyone?

I guess with my sister, we hang out quite a lot.

 


 

So there you have it. Hope you enjoyed my answers. For the people I have nominated, I have chosen you because I would like to get to know a little more about you through these answers. So here we go:

 

Dr. Perry

Anita (Discovering your happiness)

Mairi

Aria Bella

Akhila

emotionsoflife2016

 

Ι hope you enjoyed and I hope the people I nominated find the time to answer these questions. I am looking forward to your answers 😀

xoxo

Eva

 

 

 

 

awards

The Versatile Blogger Award

vba

 

First of all, I would like to thank my fellow bloggers, Mairi and Discovering your happiness, for nominating me for this award.

Mairi is a blogger who is not afraid to speak of what she feels. Although going through the struggles of middleage, she does not let that become an obstacle and on the contrary turns it into the fuel that fuels her writings. She also discusses other interesting topics, such as emotional intelligence, and benevolent sexism.I absolutely love her strength and the overall willpower she portrays through her writing. Please check out her blog, hitting60.com.

Anita, of Discovering your happiness, is a blogger whose posts I have cried over. They have helped me on a deeper level, and I have connected so many times with what she is saying and have felt uplifted by her words. Her blog is about mental health, the struggles we go through and the ways to overcome them. If you haven’t already, please check out her blog.

So, to come back to our topic, the Versatile Blogger Award. The Versatile Blogger Award was created to feature and recognise blogs that have unique content, high quality of writing, and fantastic photos.

THE RULES OF THE VERSATILE BLOGGER AWARD:

  1. Thank the person who gave you this award, and include a link to their blog.
  2. Nominate 15 blogs that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly.
  3. Share 7 things about yourself that people might not know.

7 FACTS ABOUT ME:

  1. I live in Greece, but I was born in the U.S.A. and raised there until I was 11. I now consider myself a Greek-American.
  2. I do not like deserts. Well, it’s not that I am discusted by them or anything, it’s just that if I could live without any deserts my whole life, I would be okay. I don’t remember the last time I ate chocolate. I know, I’m weird 😛
  3. As of December of last year, I have a bachelors degree in Chemistry. I enjoy the profession, my whole life I had been asking the stranges questions, like how soap works or why our skin becomes dry after we rinse it with water. Chemistry has come to give answers to all the crazy questions that come to my mind. It explains why the world around us works the way it works.
  4. Because I am constantly thinking of random things, I am a bit absent-minded. This results in me losing things and forgetting things constantly. I have lost everything a man can lose. Phones, wallets, keys. I forgot my laptop in a bus once. Luckily, I got it back. I forgot my luggage on a train once. That I didn’t get back. Once, I lost my phone, and on the day I was going to go buy a new phone, and therefore had alot of money in my wallet, I lost my wallet. Luckily I got that one back too.
  5. I am also very clumsy, especially when it comes to my phone. I have dropped it hundreds of times. I have even dropped it in a toilet. Luckily, I have an old, nokia phone, and it has survived all the hardships it goes through because of me 💪
  6. When shopping, I have a tendancy to want to please the sales person, which has resulted in me buying a lot of useless things 😂 I have been trying to improve on this, but online shopping has also helped 😂
  7. I eat alot, and enjoy most foods. I am pretty sure I would try any food they would give to me. In Greece we have some weird dishes, so already I have tried some weird things, like intestines and liver (sorry to all vegans out there, I totally admire what you do and one day would like to become like you, I just like meat too much).

MY NOMINATIONS:

Robyn’s Anxiety Blog

Struggle street

Beckie’s mental mess

thedancingrunner

Jalvis Quotes


 

I have chosen you guys because I consider your blogs exquisite. Each one of you bring something new to the table, and I absolutely love it. I follow you guys frequently and hope you will find the time to make this post, so we can get to know you a bit better.

Lots of Love,

Eva